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Best DnD/Tabletop Moments; Or worst. Or craziest.
Topic Started: Mar 2 2013, 03:05 PM (1,885 Views)
Nubi
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Anomaly triggered this idea when he mentioned that he plays DnD. For any tabletop gamers or pen & paper roleplayers out there: What is your most memorable, best, craziest, or funniest moments in a campaign? Not everyone does tabletop, so you can pull from written RPs as well. You can even share moments that others have shared with you.




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Anomaly
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Forum bum

Oh man, sweet. I'll post some stories here later on, definitely :D
I'm studying at the moment and have to head home soon so no time now, but I'll have em up soon.

Can't wait to read some stories from other members here :D

But to offer some content anyway, here's a website that has a comic about D&D and they post plenty of player stories as well (most of them are pretty funny):

Tales from the Table

Oh and I obviously HAVE to mention the legendary Order of the Stick (OotS) comic, for those who are unfamiliar with it:

Order of the Stick
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Nubi
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I'll have to check those out. I have a DnD friend that would probably love them if he doesn't about them already.

One of my favorite DnD moments has to be during our last campaign, playing as a blind Druid in an unfamiliar setting. I chose to handicap my Druid for roleplay reasons and put a ton into her listen checks. She had a companion dog that she used as her seeing eye dog and was able to animal speak with it every so often. Additionally, she was able to see when in animal form.

My Druid had just arrived in an unfamiliar location that didn't know a whole lot about Druids or certain magics. She is walking along a street, lead by her dog, looking as helpless as a blind girl would. The DM decides to have her jumped by a few thugs. They surround her. The lead thug is trying to play it all cool, and notices she is blind, tries to intimidate her by saying there are more thugs there than are actually present. I roll for a listen check (which had a +14 I believe), and in spite of the DM she is able to determine that there is really only a few based on their noisy breathing. It was a good enough roll that the DM even said one sneezes. She informs them how many are present and "looks" in their direction, hand resting on the hilt of her sword. I designed this character to be more of a utility survivalist and clever individual, rather than much of brute force fighter. These thugs were unfamiliar with Druids, so she bluffed her way of out the situation. She didn't have the skills to shift into anything more intimidating than a wild cat or small bear. But she asked "Have you ever fought a Dire Bear?" And explained that it was a huge bear, and if they didn't leave her alone they were about to encounter one. A combination of bluffing and intimidating allowed her to weasel her way out of trouble.

I really enjoyed that particular moment because of her sharp senses and how the DM couldn't escape great listen checks, even when trying to pick on the blind girl.
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Chrono T.
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Master of Time and Space

One of my favorites was this:


Krono - DungeonMaster
D-Rock - Lyncanthrope trying to find a cure

Plot: The team, a rogue concerned with treasure traveling alongside an imp who wishes to see the world and a Druidic Lycan meet in a small town as they attempt to go on their way. It is here that they learn of that their country is under attack by Zakythos and that the King's Army is accepting mercenary recruits to battle them. They are offering their weight in gold and any treasures which they find from the enemy camps.

Krono: You find a journal, written by an old master of potion-making

D-Rock: Does it say anything about how to cure my sickness?

Krono: Yes, it depicts a purple flower with seven leaves which must be plucked as one part of a potion to cure lycanthropy

D-Rock: Great, seeing as how that's my only goal, I don't really need to continue with these guys anymore. I can leave the group and start a journey of my own.

Krono: Aren't you going to ask where the flower can be found?

D-Rock: I'll ask some people around town...

((A few minutes of NPC convos later))

D-Rock: So... Everyone says that those can only be found to the West... Past the Capitol.

Krono: That is so.

D-Rock: So... that means I have to go to the Capitol with these guys?

Krono: Yep.

D-Rock: Fuck you.

((Weeks of Campaining later, we come to the Capitol, which is in ruins. Zakythos had attacked and destroyed the King's Army during the time that they left the town and a new man filled the throne's seat.))

D-Rock: I don't care about politics, I just want my cure. Where are the flowers?

Krono: You'll have to ask the townspeople.

((Several NPCs and a short walk later))

Krono: You find the apothecary in ruins, it appears to have been burnt to the ground. It's safe to say that the invading army didn't want any potions to be used by their enemies to turn the tides. You find a flower which perfectly matches the drawing in the book, somehow still standing amidst the ashes and rubble.

D-Rock: I pick up the flower.

Krono: It crumbles to ash in your hands.

D-RocK:FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf-
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Extinct Life


Tonight, it was epic... Nubi and I +friends were all playing a game, and when the social chatter started going insane following a goblin killing a dog in front of our eyes. one of our friends (supposedly in the voice of the dog, if it could have had one) said " too hard!" in relation to it thinking it was being pet by this goblin.... both the friend that made the comment and another had then let out sad moans " awwww" and I made the comment, that was emotional suicide...
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Anomaly
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Here's a short one for now, about how I single-handedly cut a previous campaign short.

We were all part of a city guard squad in a city where shady business was going on. Our patrol consisted of three characters: the captain was a lawful good dwarf paladin, my other friend played an elf (forgot his alignment and class), and I played a chaotic neutral half-elf ranger (I managed to make that work). That made for some hilarious conversations, as dwarfs and elves famously do not get along.

We discovered a group of people smuggling expensive artwork and had suspicions that the higher ups in the city guard were involved. In fact, we were immediately taken off the case and our patrol relocated. So it was up to us to get to the bottom of it and bring the criminals to light.

At one point, the captain and I were following some of the smugglers down to an abandoned warehouse in the warehouse district and were subsequently discovered while spying on them. This did not end well and we were dragged inside, tied up, and sat on some chairs.
I could see our DM's eyes glisten, wondering how we were gonna get out of this situation, expecting us, no doubt, to be rolling new characters soon.

The head of the organisation was in the middle of giving us some exposition when my character interrupted him to ask what a job for him would pay. That definitely caught the NPC (AND the DM, I should say) off guard. The DM going full-improv, I was told that I'd have to prove my resolve by killing my captain. Surely this would make me think otherwise?

This was indeed a bit of a dilemma for my character, as the captain was still my captain and had been for years. On the other hand, he was a dirty dwarf and more importantly: money! It looked like this job would be way more lucrative than a slow climb in the city guard hierarchy.

I solved it quickly by proposing that, instead of just killing him, which would be quick and boring, we would parade him around town, naked, with his beard completely shaven off. The ultimate humiliation for a lawful good dwarf, one after which no one would listen to him anymore anyway, so the organisation was safe. The DM could not ignore my rolls and the leader of the organisation agreed.

We ended our session there and never picked up again. The DM had NO IDEA what to do with this situation next. His plans all went through the window.

Maybe someday we'll find out how much money my character is making nowadays.

Next up (when I get the time): the story of how our current stab-crazy rogue ended up with a strange 'hop' to his walk.
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Nubi
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@Chrono - lmao! ah.... the joys of being a cruel DM. Something I've not yet experienced. But I think every DM is a sadistic bastard. As Anomaly pointed out "I could see our DM's eyes glisten"

@Anomaly - Damn. Its a shame that campaign ended abruptly. I'd like to hear what happened to that poor dwarf. Yay chaotic neutral!

Friday was hilarious. Aside from the "too hard!" comment (which somehow makes me think of "Of Mice and Men") we completely screwed up our DM's plans. He brought in a very tough to fight Goblin commander mounted on a disgusting rat-dog thing with three other Goblins on foot. This was after we'd already cut through a few goblins and taken some damage. One of our three rogues (we're a party of *counts* 6? Yeah.) shoots the helmet off the Goblin commander. The DM makes the mistake of saying one of his goblin underlings stifles a laugh. I role a Perception check to see if my Magus hears - she does. Vivian, my Magus, yells to the goblin commander: "What kind of commander are you?! That goblin is laughing at you." at which point a rogue pirate character, whom seems to hate me, rolls a successful bluff and we team up (miraculously) to trick the commander into sicking his rat-dog on two of his goblins. He dismounted, negating his ability to kite and avoid damage. The DM was not pleased at how easy we made the fight. But he also said, before the campaign started, that Pathfinder is very much designed to let players use combat and wits equally.

One of the best moments so far is when our DM literally sang a goblin war song. In a funny voice. I recorded it. >D We also can get rewarded and can provide morale boosts if we do things like sing songs. I'm excited for next session. Rewards, story time, and probably the start of the actual campaign quest.
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Kavrae
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Oh don't worry Nubi, the main quest is coming. It starts next session actually.

For those curious I am the evil DM that she talks about. For the first time I'm trying a premade campaign by running them through Rise of the Runelords. I typically do homebrew sessions, such as my previous Horror campaign.

Now then, I have far too many of these stories so I'll try to stick to just one or two for now.

Setting
My first tabletop experience with 5 "veteran" players. I've rolled up a classic half-orc barbarian at level 1, purely for the sake of creation time. Begin with everyone in jail. No weapons and already know one-another.

Game
We begin the game with everyone attempting to find the most clever solution for escaping said jail. The sorcerer is attempting to rapidly heat/cool the metal bars with his few spells. The wizard's raven is on his way to steal the keys from a sleeping jailer. The cleric is looking for any gamebreaking tricks (bit of a chronic metagamer). While all of this clever trickery is taking place I'm off in the corner with a rock and stack of six ceramic plates. Attempting to carve them into keys. Every 10 seconds or so they players would hear a plate shatter and a very loud orcish curse. Amazed he survived this long, eh?

Eventually, the wizard's plan works. His raven is on its way back with the keys. Then the entire back wall EXPLODES. We were being rescued anyway. Except that they rescued the wrong cell. The side wall crumbles allowing us to pry the bars loose with a couple strength checks. A quick fight with the guards ensues and a few moments later I have myself a bastard sword and chainmail. As we begin up the stairs to leave the jail, we hear a sound behind us. We all stare daggers at the DM; it's a zombie campaign. With my first attack role in a table top RPG I manage a crit, cutting the ex-jailer in half vertically.

After much looting, yelling, and panicking we finally get to the tower atop the jail. Looking around we see a sea of zombies. Oh, this is going to be painful..... The rest of the short game involves dipping a bastard sword in 10 gallons of holy water, looting 3 carts full of gold, running from a 25ft tall skeleton behemoth, and one very happy Barbarian with an orc double axe.

Remind me later to tell you about how I lost seventeen ships in Exalted p_sweat
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Anomaly
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So I just came back from our weekly session... I just killed another of our players xD

I was cleaving two undead guards, but rolled a 1 and hit our already unconscious friend lying next to them.... He shall be missed. (I still added 1 tot my kill count, though. A kill is a kill!)

The last time I managed to kill one of our partymembers was with my previous character in the same campaign (I'll post about how I got myself killed later...). A stone automaton was running amok in Velvet City and we had just taken it down. Apparently the Mad Hatter King was the one controlling it, being strapped to its chest and controlling it with hooks and levers (don't ask). It was lying flat on its back while I was running across it, chasing the mad king when I (again) rolled a 1 and tripped over one of the wires, jerking it. It was the wire controlling one of the giant stone column legs... next to which was standing one of our party members...

The leg lifted and as my foot sprang loose, it dropped again, right on top of our beloved elementalist. He did not manage to save himself and was left a sticky, bloody mess... He will also be dearly missed. xD
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soul of sin
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Royal Deity

Anomly, the TKer. XD I love this thread already. Ok my turn.

I've only played one full campaign (the GM wasn't very good at GMing and cut out a lot so I'm stretching it to call it a "full" campaign), and bits and pieces of others. I've also tried my hand at GMing myself. However I have proven a few things.

Firstly, whenever I roll a Ranger, my Perception checks hardly ever fail. My first character only failed Perception rolls to search or loot only when the room was completely stripped. I also kick butt as Handle Animal checks, having successfully made a giant spider friendly by "suggestively thrusting" as it as the GM put it (when I couldn't think of anything).

Secondly, I almost always manage at least one critical hit against dungeon bosses. Usually the first attack of the fight too.


My favourite events though have to be the following.

a) As I said above, I have a track record for crit'ing boss fights. The best example of this was against the boss of a mini-dungeon filled with Mites (woo Pathfinder). My party (which consisted of a Half-Elf Ranger, me, a Gnome Sorcerer, and a human Fighter), had decided to aid a village of Kobolds in their struggle against some Mites that had moved into the forest and were driving the Kobolds away from their food. When we had finally managed to fight our way into the boss chamber (our GM had the brilliant idea to give the Mites more AC than normal) we found ourselves listening to their leader trying desperately to convince us to help them instead. After a few exchanges my character had gotten bored and held no intention of attacking the Kobolds, who he was helping in order to repay them for prior aid, and abruptly stepped forward and took a shot at the Mite leader.

My GM was caught off guard, both by the attack, and the fact that I had crit'ed the Mite for 44hp damage, and it only had 40hp. That being said I shouldn't have done so much damage (we didn't know at the time that my extra 1d6 damage wasn't meant to be multiplied too) but I managed to cripple the Mite from the waist down so he couldn't move off his mount (a giant tick). The fight went rather well from there, aside from the tick messing my character up and ripping out his eye.

b) In our travels to seek further aid from the Kobolds later on in the same campaign, the party (now with a Dwarf Paladin) came across a decaying house in the forest. Turns out it was inhabited by a Vampire who used to be a Elf Bard for a circus. She was quite insane, and used various mindless undead to help her put on plays (they were very informative). She refused to let us leave until we saw one of her plays, but insisted we paid the entry fee of one cup of blood each.

Of course, my [lawful] neutral, slowly going insane himself, Elf, and the rest of the party, agreed without really thinking about it. Figured a cup of blood wasn't a bad price to pay to avoid possibly fighting a Vampire and her horde of undead. Turns out, Gnomes with a Leechling template have particularly tasty fey blood. The Vampire wouldn't stop feeding, and after a few rounds of trying to gently nudge and poke her back to her senses, we ripped her off our Gnome. Sadly we were one round too late and the Gnome promptly, kinda, died. Seeing this as mostly an annoying inconvenience, rather than the tragic loss of an allie, my character asked the Vampire if there was anything she could do.

So we promptly spilled some Vampire blood into the Gnomes mouth and buried her overnight. By morning she was Vampire. A Gnome, Leechling, Vampire, Sorcerer with Dragonic Bloodline. Surprisingly she still got along with my character, despite getting her killed, turned into an undead, forgetting her name often and simply referring to her as The Gnome, and telling her she would suffer the wrath of the gods she aggressively insisted didn't exist (despite meeting one, twice!).

That all being said, by the end of that campaign my character was rather insane, missing an eye, had once again killed the Gnome (she turned against us I swear), and was wearing a cursed Necklace of Opposite Gender, transforming him into a woman. It was quite fun to roleplay, especially as he never outwardly seemed to notice the change of gender.
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Anomaly
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soul of sin
Mar 25 2013, 09:29 AM
That all being said, by the end of that campaign my character was rather insane, missing an eye, had once again killed the Gnome (she turned against us I swear), and was wearing a cursed Necklace of Opposite Gender, transforming him into a woman. It was quite fun to roleplay, especially as he never outwardly seemed to notice the change of gender.
hahaha nice :D

Speaking of character transformations, I should probably tell you about my chaotic good Dwarf Bardbarian. Yes, you read that right.

Growing up in the Deep Mines of Keldagrim (cookies for those who get the reference), he suddenly developed severe claustrophobia as a child. Disgracefully, his parents had no choice to move to the surface, which as dwarfs, is not evident due to their crippling fear of the sky crashing down on them at any moment. This combination made Erdal a very jumpy and anxious character. (requiring several will saves to get up in the morning without screaming bloody murder, if they sleep under the open sky)

Nevertheless, he grew up in the fair meadows of mayflower valley and was raised a barbarian to prepare him for life's challenges, which for a character such as Erdal would be plentiful. At the age of 40 (adulthood for dwarfs), though, he realized his true passion was music, dance, and poetry. So he set off on a journey to make his dream of becoming a bard come true.

(along the way, our gnome scientist crafted him an 'Axe' from an actual 2H axe, with a dragon tooth on the pommel; and he acquired a perk called 'booming voice' which causes his voice to echo through the skies with great force (metal as fuck \m/ ).)

Recently, while in glorious battle with a bear they caught in a trap, he was mauled pretty badly in the face. So our gnome scientist patched him up and gave him a face implant (the uses of which I've only begun to scratch the surface).

So he effectively is now a chaotic good dwarf bardbarian cyborg.

Oh and he also has this slimey bug pet thing (taken from a battle with a huge sea monster) called Mr. Scruffles. He's pretty sure it likes him and is pretty much constantly feeding it ale. (because, hell, who doesn't like ale?!)

Oh and we also have a crossdressing stabcrazy rogue in our party.
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NebulaRose
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So this past Friday was our first real boss battle. The boss was supposed to be fairly difficult because it was flying, would heal itself, summon things, and later we found out from the DM that if it got down to half health then it would turn invisible. The Summoners Eidolon (Taking the form of a huge buff guy) walks up, makes an epic jump, and swats the damn thing with his huge hammer, dealing 30 damage. The boss only had 24 HP. I think that was the point where our DM realized he needed to make the enemies stronger.
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soul of sin
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Royal Deity

I haven't roleplayed for about a month now, because I've been trying to fix my sleeping pattern to something more normal. However I did create one of my favourite characters to date. A war-cleric dwarf, who didn't hate elves but certainly didn't like them, and who was absolutely freaking terrified of spiders. He would burn cobwebs whenever he had the chance, refused to stay in a room with spider shaped statues for too long, and attacked spider corpses! Giant bone snake thing? No worries. Tarantula? KILL IT, KILL IT WITH FIRE!
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Nubi
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lol! Just read through the new stories. Killing other party members is awfully common it seems. We are always accidentally shooting each other with arrows and taking friendly warhammers to the face. The other day Brawny (cavalier with a warhammer) rolled a 1 and ended up smashing through vines and brambles and whacking Nebula's character, Sotu, in the face.

Anomaly
 
This combination made Erdal a very jumpy and anxious character. (requiring several will saves to get up in the morning without screaming bloody murder, if they sleep under the open sky)


These kinds of things is what really makes for a fun campaign and adds depth (hilariously).


Our last session was possibly our most successful yet in terms of collaboration. Aside from all the disasters... We've been doing the Rise of the Runelords pathfinder campaign and need to infiltrate a goblin fortress to stop an invasion on a local town. We're on one side of a cliff, the fortress is on the other side. 80ft down, 60ft across with a rope bridge between over water. The party won't let Vivian burn it down, so that gets shutdown. :/

Disaster 1) Three players rush onto it (two of which are rogues) without checking it first and the left rope snaps. They make their checks and get back to our side of the cliff safely.
Disaster 2) We all climb down to the beach. There is a cave on our side of the cliff that everyone but Holly (ExtinctLife's character) wants to explore. We argue with her until she concedes via diplomacy roll. Mouth and D, the rogues that snapped the bridge, jump into the water and nearly drown. The water near the cave is so difficult to swim in that even a natural 20 is barely enough to get back to shore safely. Turns out the cave has an optional giant fish boss, no land to stand on, and requires absurd swim checks to get into. We apologize to Holly.
Disaster 3) We still have to swim across the water to the fortress cliff. One swims across with a rope that a player holds on either side of the beach to help bad swimmers across. Vivian, being bad at swimming, tries to run across the rope itself. It isn't being held taught enough so she has to swim half way. It is Holly's turn. She's been casting guidance on everyone to help them across. She casts guidance on herself, swims, and starts drowning. Rolls to get above water, casts guidance, rolls a bad swim check and goes under again. Rolls to get above water, casts guidance, rolls a bad swim check and goes under again. Each time Holly breaks the surface ExtinctLife is going "*points at self, gasps for air* Guidance!" Holly barely made it.

Bonus Disaster: Much to our surprise,with planning from Vivian and D, we manage to clear the first room of the fortress. Mouth and Norm (Holly's Eidolon) bicker over a pearly dagger they find, which Mouth tries to quietly steal and trick Norm about it. Norm gets everyone's attention. D, who has absurd bluff and social skills, forces Mouth to open his bag and reveal the stolen dagger, asks how much it is worth, and demands everyone in the party be given a share of the worth when we go to town. IRL, Mouth and D's players are married (and the rolls highly favored D, the wife) :P

Name Key
Mouth - Marcus, the rogue archer guy (husband)
D - Rogue pirate that likes booze (wife)
Holly & Norm - Summoner and Eidolon (ExtinctLife)
Sotu - A shy Rogue (Nebula)
Brawny - Largo, tanky cavalier
Vivian - Bladed scarf dancer Magus (me)
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NebulaRose
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Nubi
Jun 9 2013, 08:33 PM
The other day Brawny (cavalier with a warhammer) rolled a 1 and ended up smashing through vines and brambles and whacking Nebula's character, Sotu, in the face.
You forgot to mention the part where I got mauled by a damn cougar...
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